Multiplicities of PRIDE

Multiplicities of PRIDE

Exploring 3D printing for my BA Photography Honours project!
  One body, many lived experiences. 
This work explores the many identities I have occupied throughout my life. A series of self-portraits into the unknown. As a woman, lesbian, transgender, faggot, male and who was assigned female at birth. All these labels that are reclaimed, affirmed or just socially assigned are oppressive to me.

Do acronyms, identity labels and terms inhibit our expressions of self?Is it still a safe space to identify? Why do we still need all these labels in
today’s society? Cant we just express and live. Multiplicities of Pride is the expression of all my selves past, present and future. As someone who has PRIDE in all my lived experiences and living expressions.

For further information visit the Research Project Site >>

Project Gallery

Boys will be Boys

Queer by night

Strange Temporalities
Aperture: 5Camera: Canon EOS 5D Mark IIIIso: 100

Photograghic Portraits

St Kilda Beach Girl
Author: ETHAN KRISTYAperture: 5Camera: Canon EOS 800DIso: 100Orientation: 1
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Fuck Me or Fuck Off

Fuck Me or Fuck Off
Aperture: 9Camera: NIKON D5100Iso: 100

St Kilda Beach Girls

St Kilda Beach Girls
Author: ETHAN KRISTYAperture: 6.3Camera: Canon EOS 800DIso: 100Orientation: 1
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Meat

Queering the Aussie BBQ

Queering the Aussie BBQ Photographic Serie
Aperture: 5.6Camera: Canon EOS 5D Mark IIIIso: 100
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[ EXHIBITION ] QueerTech.io = ART(URL, IRL)

QueerTech.io = ART(URL, IRL)

Presented by Midsumma Festival and QueerTech.io, in association with ACMI and RMIT:ART:INTERSECT

I am one of the Artists selected to exhibit in QueerTech.io 2018

For 2018, Midsumma Festival takes the leap into the digital queer realm, co-presenting with QueerTech.io this extraordinary online gathering of artists at the frontier of creative practice.

Responding to the growing international inquiry into practices of #queertech in digital art circles, QueerTech.io and Midsumma have invited artists from around the world to come together digitally, physically and oh-so-queerly to contribute internet artworks, projects and provocations to the ongoing #queertech conversation.

Catch selected works IRL at RMIT’s SPARE ROOM gallery and LIGHTSCAPES project space. Join a special ART + FILM screening at ACMI of 2018 QueerTech.io work, plus conversation with curators and artists.

Online from 12 Jan: http://QueerTech.io
Exhibition: RMIT Spare Room, Bld 94 Lv 2 Rm 2, 23-27 Cardigan St, Carlton
31 Jan – 22 Mar | Wed & Fri 10am – 5pm | Thu 10am – 8pm | Sat midday – 4pm
Exhibition: RMIT Lightscapes, Bld 2, Lightwell, Bowen St, Melbourne
31 Jan – 22 Mar | Mon – Fri 9am – 6pm
Screening: ACMI, Federation Square – Fri 2 Feb 6.30pm

MORE INFO VISIT  Midsumma

[ EXHIBITION ] RESPECT: A Queer affair

RESPECT—A Queer Affair is about love, hope and, of course, respect. It is an art exhibition and schedule of community events aiming to counteract the negative messaging targeted to the LGBTIQ+ community—especially the youth—and bringing it and its supporters together in a time of disharmony and discord. All events brought to you by Brunswick Street Gallery, Hares & Hyenas and the future ensemble.
_______________________________

EVENTS AT BRUNSWICK STREET GALLERY
Level 1, 322 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, 3065

RESPECT – A Queer Affair Exhibition Opening
FRI 3 NOV @6-9pm – FREE

YES Block Party
Feat. PO PO MO CO and Beastie Girls
FRI 10 NOV @ 6-10pm – $5

[ EXHIBITION ] BLOOM : The art of Becoming (SYD)

Heaps Gay and Trans Sydney Pride Presents In Bloom: The Art of Becoming: A celebration of trans and gender non binary artists with support from LUSH!

TYPE: GROUP EXHIBITION

GALLERY: 107 Projects, Redfern  Sydney

WHEN: 4  – 8 Oct 2017

Opening night party | Oct 4 | 6pm
Entry by $5 donation & all proceeds to charity!
Performances, art, speakers and music.

Walking to School

Installation (Found Objects with Bronze Sculpture), Sept 2016

Responding to the Safe School’s Program debate that was happening in 2016.

I was thinking on how much it would have changed my experiences at high school by having a program like this.  I am confident in saying I would not have had such a hard time. Being an out & proud lesbian at age 14, the endless school bullying by teachers, students and at home without support from the public educational system or the government made my high school years the worst years of my life.

I was trapped in daily bullying during school and on the streets. Enduring physical violence at both school and home, I was bashed, attacked and homeless by age 17. Isolated, alone and without support, The School and many teachers took the attitude that I brought attention to myself by coming out as a lesbian and dressing like a boy. Commenting that If I only made the effort to “fit in” like the rest of the students, the bullying and daily attacks would stop.

foot-gage

DESCRIPTION: A masculine foot with pink nail polish is perched in a bird cage, unable to walk. Trapped in being on public show.

Essay // Mapping my gender in a day

As you move through the day reflect on the way you inhabit your body and what aspects of your behaviour seem particularly gendered to you. Does your performance of your gender change in different contexts? Can you discern where you have picked up gendered mannerisms and behaviour from?

“Mapping my gender in a day!”

image002

Fig. 1. Make-Up for Beginners: Brigitte Bardot to David Bowie. [1]

In this essay I will explore three daily gender performative acts. The walk, the hand shake and the shave. These hegemonic social customs are regulated and inscribed by social institutions with different practises depending on the gender you are assigned.[2]

Simone De Beauvoir states that “one is not born, but rather becomes.”[3] Butler expands on this theory and posits that the process of becoming your assigned gender, occurs through a strictly regulated sequence of repeated acts that imprint upon and formulate the gendered body.[4] This starts from birth, a child is assigned a gender based on sex, from that point the systemic genderisation begins.

Reflecting on my own positionality within a heteronormative society is vastly different today, as from sixteen years ago. Today I am an able bodied white male, but as I dress in my gender for the day, it becomes apparent from my markings, surgical scars and mannerisms that I am not “born” male. My body is an anthropological dig of my histories, markings, makings and imprints.[5] A day in mapping my gender      becomes a day mapping several distinct identities: Male, Female and other! All of these histories intersecting in one body.

The Walk

“He said walk like a man, Talk like a man, Walk like a man my son…” [6]

My father never taught me to walk like a man. I taught myself over the years of my transition in order to normalise and realign my traits from female to male, and to inhabit my self-fashioned manhood through signifiers. My “male” walk was taught to me by a friend who described it as walking with weights in your groan. Men spread their legs, he advised, to take up space. I occupy a relatively unique position, in that my histories influence my perspective and my subjectivity. As I walk in my embodied male gender the lay of the land opens up for me in specific ways that allow me to take up more space, which it would not have done for my female gendered embodiment of sixteen years ago. This experience is supported by trans* writer James St. James, “I was being treated better by everyday America because people were reading me as a young, white, straight (?!) male. And I recognized many new privileges that came my way because of it.” [7] In place and space I perform male and are therefore defined and privileged by my manhood.

The hand shake

“I look like a woman and feel like a man!” [8]

In my previous subjectivity as “woman” I was never presented with a need to negotiate a handshake,. not even when I was presenting as a female masculine body in a formal space. However as soon as I started to present as “male” I was confronted by a handshake at every greeting. This is evident when walking into a room on a daily basis. This custom changes due to the formality and context of the meeting. If I am accompanied by my male partner whilst in corporate attire, and bump into a colleague, the equalizing/acknowledging handshake is replaced with an informal nod and hello, casting me as “other”, an outsider, the polluted body. [9] After transitioning my hand shake was criticised for a lack of power, not manly enough, interview techniques taught me to make eye contact and give a firm “manly” handshake.

The shave

Feeling like a woman, looking like a man.” [10]

image004Fig 2: Woman Shaving Her Leg by George Segal. [11]

As a woman who played sports I shaved my legs and arm pits every couple of days, these customs were removed as I transitioned to male. I no longer shave my legs or my arm pits, but as a man the razor has moved from the legs and underarms to the face.

image006

Fig. 3. “A man who saves his face, probably shaves his vagina too.” Meme. [12]

With the advent of the hipster movement the beard has become a new fad of male signification. The razor is only used to tidy up your neck and to create a clear line enunciating your status as fashionable, civilised, clean. The hipster fashion has left behind those men who aren’t capable of growing a beard, thus creating a power relation between the bearded and the beardless. As evidenced and constantly reproduced in popular culture. See Meme, Fig 3. The changeability of these customs based on fads and fashions exposes male signifiers as being culturally produced. When I was a child I saw the beard, as well as the act of face shaving as a major performance of manhood, so for me having a beard is a sign of having attained maleness, a milestone of my transition.

“You Think You’re A Man.” [13]

This essay has explored three key gender performative acts that have varied greatly over my life. “By regularly wearing certain kinds of clothes, walking in certain conventional ways.”[14] I have consciously embodied maleness on a daily basis. The experience of writing this essay has highlighted to me that I inhabit my body in a conscious, rather than unconscious way. Without “performativity” my gender would be vague, my position within society would be unclear.

Footnotes

[1] Unknown Artist, “Make-up for Beginners: Brigitte Bardot to David Bowie”, in Vested Interests: Cross-Dressing and Cultural Anxiety, Marjorie B. Garber (London: Penguin Books, 1992), 162.

[2] Alison Stone, An Introduction To Feminist Philosophy, (Cambridge: Polity, 2007), 61.

[3] Judith Butler, “Sex And Gender In Simone De Beauvoir’s Second Sex,” Yale French Studies, no. 72 (1986):35

[4] Judith Butler, Gender trouble: feminism and the subversion of identity, (New York: Routledge, 1990), 44.

[5] Michael Ryan, and Musiol Hanna, Cultural Studies. Malden, (MA: Blackwell Pub, 2008), 207.

[6] Lyrics. Song performed by Devine. Bob Gaudio, and Bob Crewe. Walk Like A Man (Remix). (London: Proto Records, 1985) Compact Disc.

[7] James St. James, “These 25 Examples Of Male Privilege From A Trans Guy’S Perspective Really Prove The Point.” Everyday Feminism, accessed 1 August 2015, http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/male-privilege-trans-men/

[8] Lyrics. Song performed by Cheery 2000. R. Lafferty and A. Rantzen, Feel Like A Man. (Sydney: Ear Pimp Music, 2003), Compact Disc.

[9] Michael Ryan, and Musiol Hanna, Cultural Studies. Malden, (MA: Blackwell Pub, 2008), 208.

[10] Lyrics. Song performed by Grace Jones. Grace Jones, Walking in the Rain. (England: Island Records, 1979), Vinyl Record.

[11] George Segal, Woman Shaving Her Leg, 1968, Plaster, metal, porcelain, and Masonite.

[12] “A Man Who Shaves His Beard Probably Shaves His Vagina…” memegenerator.net, accessed 1 August 2015, http://memegenerator.net/instance/55592912.

[13] Lyrics performed by Devine. Deane, Geoff. You Think You’re A Man. London: Proto Records, 2015. Vinyl.

[14] Alison Stone, An Introduction To Feminist Philosophy, (Cambridge: Polity, 2007), 61.


BIBLIOGRAPHY

  1. Burgett, Bruce, and Glenn Hendler. Keywords For American Cultural Studies. New York: New York University Press, 2007.
  2. Butler, Judith. Gender trouble: feminism and the subversion of identity. New York: Routledge, 1990.
  3. Butler, Judith. “Sex And Gender In Simone De Beauvoir’s Second Sex.” Yale French Studies, no. 72 (1989):35 – 49.
  4. Deane, Geoff. You Think You’re A Man. London: Proto Records, 2015. Vinyl.
  5. St. James, James. “These 25 Examples of Male Privilege from a Trans Guy’s Perspective Really Prove The Point.” Everyday Feminism, accessed 1 August 2015. http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/male-privilege-trans-men/.
  6. Gaudio, Bob, and Crewe, Bob. Walk Like A Man (Remix). London: Proto Records, 1985. Compact Disc.
  7. Jones, Grace. Walking in the Rain. England: Island Records, 1979, Vinyl Record.
  8. Lafferty, R, and Rantzen, A. Feel Like A Man. Sydney: Ear Pimp Music, 2003. Compact Disc.
  9. Memegenerator.net. “A Man Who Shaves His Beard Probably Shaves His Vagina…” accessed 1 August 2015, http://memegenerator.net/instance/55592912
  10. Ryan, Michael, and Hanna Musiol. Cultural Studies, 205 – 216. Malden, MA: Blackwell Pub, 2008.
  11. Segal, George. 1968. Woman Shaving Her Leg. Plaster, metal, porcelain, and Masonite. Chicago: Museum of Contemporary Art.
  12. Stone, Alison. An Introduction To Feminist Philosophy, 61 – 72. Cambridge: Polity, 2007.
  13. Artist Unknown, “Make-up for Beginners: Brigitte Bardot to David Bowie.”, In Vested Interests: Cross-Dressing and Cultural Anxiety, Marjorie B. Garber, 162. London: Penguin Books, 1992.

Acceptance of trans* people based on Appearance

Ok I am over the media only portraying the acceptance of trans* people based on their ability to pass. (“Passing” = how well a person can fit into the mainstream community.)

Acceptance of trans* folk or anyone else should not rely on “passing”.

I am now fortunate to pass but I was called “it” and didn’t pass for a large part of my life! The normalisation of the trans* community into an outdated hetro binary / agenda is only creating another group of “outsiders”. Another form of discrimination against anyone who doesn’t fit these ideals! We have such beauty in our diversity! Does fitting in equal to acceptance? I question this most days & I think everyone should, no matter your position or what community you’re from…

Pre-transition

My days as a child, teenager and young adult as female bodied. I am proud of my histories. Being born female had its many frustrations, discomfort, dysphoria but none the less has enriched my life in many ways. Being in a position to experience the inequalities first hand that patriarchal values have on women’s lives on a daily basis has made me more aware person that understands my position and privileges today.

POEM // A Queer Transman with Aspergers!

A Queer Transman with Aspergers! – An Alien among Aliens in an Alien world.

A social queue was missed by me! Was that a flirt, was that a hello! A smile, a flatness of facial expression, a discussion of my passions! A fixation of my likes!

Don’t be afraid, you have just meet a  “queer transman with aspergers”. A maze of tags to reflect my eye into this world!

Am I with my social eye, my friend, my polaris! I might be alone in a corner, I might be dancing! I might be with hands full of paint! I might just interrupt your conversation! I might be jiggling or not even look at you whilst I talk! I might not even talk. I am not rude! I am just a “queer transman with aspergers!”

Did I see you? I might not even hear you, did I hear you? Am I in your space? Did I just leave? Did I say hello?  Don’t think I am aloof, I am just a “queer transman with aspergers”.

The sublets of social queues I don’t catch, I am in a foreign land, I wear coloured glasses to filter the light, I have sensory issues with hearing and touch, a heightened consciousness of my environment!

Don’t walk away scratching your head when meeting me! That scratch you ponder is just meeting a “queer transman with aspergers”.

Since 1976 I have come to realise I am Queer, I am man and I have aspergers syndrome! Since then it’s been a journey to convince the world. An Alien world I don’t understand. I stood tall as a Lesbian teenager in Western Sydney, went into transition from Female to Male when I was 23 and  found to be a queer man when I was 30. Was officially diagnosed with aspergers this year 2010.

286 intramuscular injections, 3 major surgeries and  being into the hundredth appointment of psychologists, specialists and Dr’s. What have I learnt in this crossing of the sexes, fusion of diagnosis and a mirrored identity of sexuality.

Awareness is a key to understanding! So I stand and say I am a “Queer Transman with Aspergers!”

Don’t befriend me because you feel sorry for me. I am very Happy, thank you! Don’t come up to me yelling! I am not deaf! Tolerance is ignorance of the ego!  It might be your world that is the conjuring trick!!!

Poetry

buttler

“THE BUTLER PERFORMANCE” 2009

I walked around as a Butler,  handing out scrolls with my poems,  on the tray was  Prosthetic Dicks “Packies”.

POEMS

Written by Ethan-Kristy 2009

Am I,

Am I more of a man than you?
Am I more of a woman than you?
Am I more of man transitioning?
Am I more of man with this silicone penis?
Am I less of woman for wearing this penis?
Am I less of a woman for transitioning?
Am I, less Than more or more than less?

I am,

I am a man without a penis.
I am a woman with a penis.
I am a dyke envying a penis.
I am poof needing a penis.
I am transman evolving the penis.

Oh Penis,

Oh Penis, oh Penis,
Where art thou penis?
Aloof, obscure flesh object of desire and hate!
Mazed in this world with such power & might.
Why, oh why?
Why NOT bestow living on me,
Why did you go…
…to my brother, my uncle, my father ?
& not me?

The Alphabet Soup – [DAEE]

“DAEE” Appropriated Dummies book cover design by Ethan-Kristy

Diversity, Acceptance, Equality & Education [DAEE]

I am not a gay male, I am not a bear, I am not woman, I am not male, I am all and none. How you perceive me is not my identity. My histories and identities are not linear, they are diverse and continue to change. In my life I have fallen under many labels. I have been at different times perceived as  woman, man, gender queer, lesbian, bi, gay, bear, transgender and even heterosexual. My identity has more variations than this acronym “LGBTIQ”

I am very proud of all my identities and histories!

Why limit a person to a set of labels – lets learn Diversity, Acceptance, Equality and Education.

 

 

Painting // Discovery of Self

Acrylic on Canvas. 2015

Drawings // Inkblots

Ink & Pencil on Paper. 2015 [ Private Collection ]

I was looking at my collection of dicks. For over 10 years I was a prosthesis artist, hand making corrective medical devices such as penile prosthetics & STP (stand to pee) devices for Men, Trans Masculine and Gender Diverse People across the world. I have hand made many flaccid various life-like dicks made from material that feels like real skin. I started to play with them, thinking of performances and how our body and body parts occupies the space.

I experimented with several mediums, painting the dicks and then taking impressions. Like an inkblot test they started to bring about different articulations of the ink pressed against the paper. Whilst making impressions of the various handmade flaccid dicks I started to question the authenticity of these prosthetics and the value society places on being fully functional in body, mind and life.

Investigating even further the authenticity of my own body by moulding and casting my own genitals into a prosthesis then making ink impressions. I then drew a self-portrait coming from the ink impressions. fragmenting my body further by removing my legs and arms. I have always seen myself as incomplete in body, mind and life but I am now questioning how much of this representation is formed by societies narrow restrictive construct of an ideal.

Painting // The Abject

Exploring the abject through figurative works.

Drawings // It’s flesh was too filthy for the fags to eat

Charcoal, Ink & Pastel on board. 2015

Drawings // Contour Drawings

 

Studio Drawing.  2015  – 2017

In my art practice I like to  investigate  subjects, ideas and concepts through the drawing exercise of blind contour drawing & contour drawings.

Photography // Penis Cut Out

Photograghy // CAMPus Life

CAMPus Life is a series that explores the expression of gender!  By blurring the gender binary one gains the spectrum of diversity! In this spectrum everyone should be celebrated equality! Through diversity we find humanity!

Drawings // Life Drawings

STUDIO :: Multi Media

Photograghy & 3D // “It”

Sculpture 2015.  Further developed into a photographic series.

Hand made from found objects. Constructed using different gendered dolls, action figures, and child games.

The doll was made to reflect how much of a freak and outcast I was treated living in a body that didn’t assign to any gender “NORMS” constructed within a Western patriarchal society. I was constantly questioned in my gender, treated as a freak of nature, interrogating my gender, asking if I was a boy or girl?  Many times just labelling me “it”. A label that followed me for most of my childhood and teenage years.

Today, I still get questioned on my authencity to occupy specific gender roles, customs and rituals.  Reoccuring statments like” you will never be a REAL man! You will always be a woman!”  “You will never have a REAL penis!”  “Born a woman, die a woman!” And regular questions like “Do you have female or male genitals?” is taken now with a maturity that allows confidence to question and challenge.

 

STUDIO :: Paintings

 

STUDIO :: Photography & Digital

Photography

Digital

STUDIO :: Drawings

STUDIO :: Sculpture

#Trans-Masculinity

Photography // Performative

Painting // Rite of Passage

A series that examine the personal struggles of transitioning from female to male. The confrontation of expectations, perceived ideas of masculinity and shadows of the past.

  1. Fragmented – Multimedia: Acrylic, Ink & Charcoal on Canvas. 76 x 38 cm. Description: A representation of a fragmented mirror of self that one has before of acknowledgement of the shadow that is always in the background!
  2. Liberty –  Multimedia: Acrylic, Ink & Charcoal on Canvas. 40 x 50 cm. Description: The process of liberty of the true self and the mourning process that one has for the woman.

Photography & 3D // Two Faced

Painting #KarmaTranSutra

Painting #KarmaTranSutra

Title

A pictorial study of the ancient art of Kama Sutra coming with a Trans* twist! A raw, explicit look at sex, gender & sexuality from a Gay + Trans male perspective.  Anatomy at play, role play, gender play, and the many sexualities that play within!

How  “identity” plays around the ” gender spectrum” and in turn decodes our   “sexualities...

 OR   D o e s  it  

#Femininity

23 years I lived as a woman, a lesbian & Butch Dyke!  I started Hormone treatment on 21st September 1999. I am proud of my journey & my time as a woman!

Painting // I stand before you today

“I stand before you today as a man but I had to kill my woman”

Still life 1# “1 day in every 14” is a still life of  my injection day! A lethal injection to my female body a Testosterone injection every 14 days for the rest of my life.

Still Life 2# Obituary Date: 21/09/1999 is the day I started hormone injections. The Newspaper shows actual real woman who died on that day including myself as my former female body!

Hanging woman with half modified body,  a transitional state from female! Making a choice to kill my female body to become the man I am today! Without this death a new life could not have prevailed

 

 

3D // Penile Prosthetics

Artistry of the Penis – Adventure of “Home Grown”

Since 2004-2013 created wearable penile prosthetics for daily use & sold online. All natural & Allergy Free human skin compound moulded into various penis shapes. Also created harnesses & Stand to Pee devices.